


neddany is perf 2kNEVER

by yunolikewatermelons



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Game of Thrones - Freeform, Harry Potter - Freeform, a song of ice and fire - Freeform, coffee shop AU, glee? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9667541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunolikewatermelons/pseuds/yunolikewatermelons
Summary: So a friend of mine and I were looking threw GOT/ASOiAf fan fic and saw a bunch of weird ships, so we thought what could be the weirdest one to do. So I was all like Dany/Ned. so i decided to write this, in the weirdest way possible, a coffee shop Harry Potter Auso I have a bunch of ideas that are like  cross fandom, but ned starts to teach at Hogwarts but then he meets third year named Dany Targaryen who for some reasons





	1. chapter 1 where ned and Dany meet and DIE!!!

Ned Stark had lived a good life, He was married to a beautiful wife and had 6 wonderful kids. One of which was a bastard child, but we will have more about that later, the point is that he has led a good life with a wonderful wife. He went to Wizarding School at the great “Ilvermorny” where he graduated with flying colors. His wife was able to get an amazing job after school, in Antarctica, where they now live, to study just why no-majs are so fascinated with the place. Ned on the other hand was still trying to figure out what to do. All he knew that he was good at was glee club. He won the world wizarding glee competition in his 7th year. Sadly though the completion was at the same time as the fight for Hogwarts. So everyone knew about that idiot Harry Potter rather than know his schools great mash up of singing in the rain and Umbrella. He tried working at MACUSA for a while but that was not a life, he felt like he would like to live. So he looked for a job somewhere, then he got a letter from Hogwarts asking for him to come and teach Glee, and Herbology, which was weird cause he never took a class in Herbology, but Hogwarts really wanted to do well in glee this year so they wanted him, so Ned decided to take it, cause he wasn't getting any other offers. 

So he got up and left, said goodbye to his wife and kids for the year, and went to Hogwarts. he got there 2 weeks before the students and was able to settle in. He was surprised by the place and all the crazy rooms and hidden places in the school. He liked walking around and having fun in the school. His fellow teachers were all kind and interest, all their quirks were while weird made them great people. He was surprised by the headmaster who was this idiot named Neville who was the same age as that idiot Harry Potter who was the bane of Ned's existence. Neville became headmaster after Hagrid and the former headmaster, Mcgonagall and a 7th year got into a mix up at night and the student accidentally turned the two teachers into a Coffee shop. Seeing it was England though they decided to see if they could at least turn the place into a tea shop but they couldn't. The shop stayed in stock all the time and some how never ran out of supplies so the teachers decided to keep it in business.

Ned while having fun being with just the other teachers he was excited when school started, he could then finally start up the glee club. also he learned a lot about herbology and couldn't wait to start teaching some kids. His first class was third years. He weant threw the role call, until he reached the last kid on the role call list Albus Severus Potter, one of the worst person on the planet. He was so angry, he didn't want to teach a potter and couldn't believe that the blood line was aloud to continue and that idiot kid potter brought the worst wizard ever back to life, and then destroyed a whole school in the process of killing him again. But Ned was a professional and was going to teach the kids. 

this lesson he decided to teach them about Mandrakes. sadly though for him he was a bit to angry and forgot to put his earmuffs on properly. so when he took it out, he passed out. The kids though were fairly come about this. They had learned about Mandrakes in their second year and were actually quite shocked they would learn about them again. so they did all the work that needed to be done with them. then Brought Ned to the nurses office when he didn't wake up by the time class ended. 

It was an hour before he woke up. He woke up to the most beautiful person in the world. He was shocked when he saw her, she had Purple eyes and silver hair. and she came in with the most beautiful smell in the world. "oh you are awake now" said the nurse shocking Ned, "I didn't know how to wake you, but then I remembered that you crazy American's liked Coffee and have it every morning so I ordered you some to see if it would work, and shockingly enough it appears to have worked". "thanks" said Ned. the girl put down the coffee and the nurse checked his head. "ok your all ready to leave now you have about an hour before your next class, and don't worry the kids told me they got everything done in your first period class". "oh that's great. super glad to hear they learned so much from me, just wondering who is that?" said ned. the nurse, "Oh that's Dany Targaryen, she's a third year". 

this is a good place to stop right now will write more later


	2. i don't know, Ned starts a glee club?

The rest of Ned's classes after that actually went quite well. He decided teaching just wasn't for him so they went over the syllabus and then assigned them some hw problems. Neville being a nerd gave him his old syllabus and tests to help out l, little did Neville know he would just hand those out.   
Dany was in his second third year class, he was glad to find out she had several good friends. Ned was sure that he would be able to to get her pretty easily.  
Ned was always a woman's man every woman he ever met wanted him. Even his own sister. He was dating Catlin at the time when it happened. It was summer break so they said goodbye to each other for the summer, and then the first night back Ned's sister came into his room they had sex and then John was born. His sister died of child birth so he claimed the kid was has bastard child, and to his surprise Catlin during that time was also pregnant and had their kid rob. Since they now had two kids they got married.   
So ned was confident that he could get with Dany until that night at dinner. He looked over at the slytherin table and dany was kissing none other than Albus Severous Potter!   
So Ned asked professor Flitwick about it. So Albus and Scorpious had been dating but then their Dad's found out about it and went to meet and discuss if they were ok with it and realized their true love for each other. When Harry told Genny she was excited she only dated and married him to fulfill her silly child hood dream and was just waiting for harry to realize he loved Draco. So they got married that year and Albus and Scorpious felt a little weird about it so they broke up and Albus started dating Dany.   
So to hide his sorrow Ned decided to start focusing on glee club. After announcing tryouts he was sure he would get a lot of people but only three people showed. Each of them tried and failed to do "single girls" by Beyonce. Seeing that they were the only ones who showed up though he put them on the team, then at the very end of the time frame, the whole slytherin quidditch team showed up and the only good one was Albus Potter and then ned realized that if he got Albus on his glee team he might be able to get Ned


	3. does this have a tittle? cause like I don't know? Im stuck hear if you read this please save me and give me better things to do with my life!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> once upon a time Ned Stark was cool, now he isn't, cause he creepy af and is in love with innocent Hogwarts student/ coffee shop employee Daenerys Targaryen. so like who knows what is going to go down I certainly don't

So at this point Ned, has three members for his glee clubs. two random 2nd years and albus potter. he put albus on the club even though he hated him because, he thought it would be a good way to get to know dany more. 

Ned got quite excited for his first meeting with the glee club, he spent all day thinking about it, he had a lot of time to do this now that, he had professor Longbottom's lessons plan and really just pointed at plants and told the kids to deal with them. all of his time eating he would mostly just stare at Dany. He learned a lot about her, she had two best friends Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers, who people thought were dating but Kara had this boyfriend named Mon-El who they had records that he went to hogwarts and he lived at the school and turned in HW and took tests but no one ever saw him class and his room mates never saw him. so people thought she was lying and made a spell but thought couldn't of happened cause while she was quite good at magic she was pretty petty and didn't really put a lot into her studies cause she always got the job in and got good grades without trying. Lena had a lot of family money and her brother was arch rivals with Kara's cousin both of whom were going to school in Durmstrang. but even with all of this the three of them, lena, kara and Dany, were all really good friends. 

despite all of this though Ned realized right before the first meeting of the club that he had not prepared a lesson plan. then, making things even better, professor Longbottom came in right before they started, that to show off the new club to students that how about next week they have a prep rally and have the students perform. 

Ned almost died at shocked at that moment but then realized the perfect song to perform, "allstar" by Smash mouth. every kid knew it by heart and who doesn't like the classic song from the 1970s. Paul McCartney and John Lennon’s voices working perfectly in unison to make the 12 minute long ballad about their drummer Freddy Mercury, and his love affair with fellow rocker, David Bowie from the band the NSNC. 

He then worked day in and day out with the kids so they could flawlessly perform the choreography be able to sing the song for the whole school. Seeing there were only three kids Ned decided that he would perform with them. Albus was the only other good singer so he was also going to be lead vocals. The two others, known only as the others really had no abilities as signers but were good dancers so they danced around while Albus and Ned sang, Ned used his wand to blast the instrumentals and they were all set.


	4. when you go to the store to buy tiger food 4 ur tiger and u see your neighbor buying food 4 their tiger and you feel all embarrassed cause you are wearing one of your discount dresses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who know, i forgot about this 4 a hot second so you know, what eves hapeens hapens bruhs

once upon a time in the wonderful country of hogwarts there lived a great wizard named Nedard Starlepants. he went by Ned for shotsies and it is was pretty legit cause people in that there country didn't like saying peoples last names. Ned one day decided to teach at a cool wizarding school known as Westeros school of wizardry and witchcraft. at the school there was a coffee shop, and after a couple of weeks of teaching he gained a disgusting crush on this young witch named DAny, he decided that he had to win her over and they would fall in love or whatevs. 

ned walked into the coffee shop, he had asked one of his other students to tell him what the schedule for the rest of the year was, for an A for the rest of the year, and the idiot kid fell for the trick, like who would believe that Ned cared enough to grade anyones homework they were all going to get A's no matter what. so ned walked in, towards the end of Dany's shift, Ned's plan was to get the coffee from her, and maybe she needed hw help or something and would sit next to him or something and then they would fall in love, and ned would leave his wife and kids and you know everything would go like super well or whatever. 

danny - hello, professor, what would you like to order today?. ned hadn't been prepared for this, he thought that they just had like coffee and then they just you know gave you a cup and you drank what ever they gave you, but that wasn't the case, so he looked on the wall, and found out the thing that would impress her no one ever probably ever had one like this that often seeing how expensive, ned - "I will have a ven- tie te-a", dany - "you mean, ven-te tea right?", Ned - "well then what is the a doing at the end of the word then, that is just plain stupid, and insain", dany- "don't worry professor im sure most 3 years get the word wrong as well", 

 

at this I should probably tell, you who the kid he hired to get the info from, it was One of Dany's friends Kora ZOReal. you see Kora was totally dating this guy going to a different school but everyone thought that she was dating their other friend Lena louthar but that was so not true, like they were both so straight. Kora as it turns out was super awesome and had the ability to read people minds , she only realized how to do it, last year, but you know it was super useful. and well she found out that it was the two toothed back stabber Dany who came up with the no good lie. so ever since she found that out Kara had been planning on getting her revenge on Dany, she was going to plan it out with lena, but most of the time they spent together without Dany was just the two of them making out, so she never really had time to bring it up. 

so now back to the main point, so when Kara was asked by ned for the schedule, she read his mind and found out that he had a crush on her, and so Kara came up with the best plan of all time, she bed Lena that she couldn't kiss all the professors and other officials at hogwarts, then kara realized, that the coffee shop was a muggle one, so it had surveillance cameras, and because everyone else had no idea how the muggle tech worked they didn't get that it did video, so they didn't know they could be caught, so she got good video of the encounter and them flirting and then Lena kissing him, and him not being upset about it or anything, and then she sent it to Ned's wife Dogleane. he had like 30 kids with her so she would probably be mad that he left her to teach and now was kissing them .

but Karaz had no ideas just how mad she would get, ;)   
ok so like i will do more like soonish i promises


	5. batman is real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> batman was real is he still real? oh and also the new paramore album just came out so ... yeah, if this is bad blame it on me paying more attention to the lyrics than the writing

so the last time we saw our heroes Kara just sent a letter to Ned's wife showing that he was cheating on her, with Dany. Which totally breaks bro code (do girls follow bro code? like you have to, its the basic rules of friendship, well good friendship?). so on one nice fall day in antarctica, Catelyn Stark was just hanging out with her 5 kids. she was having a great day, cause she was pregnant again, and she was going to be able to surprise her husband with the news when he comes back for christmas cause they will have a christmas baby. she was annoyed though, cause their lame other son, Jon did well in school so she had to be happy for him. after they go together Ned went to an Acapella tournament with some friends from high school to see if they had what it took to get into the big leagues. and when he came back he had a new kid, and that he for some reason wasn't allowed to tell her, who the mother was. so she hated the kid ever since.   
despite all that she was having a good day. and then the mail came in. she got her normal adds and coupons. of course there was nothing good on sell. you can only buy, so much saltwater mermaid before you can't eat them anymore. and then she found the letter. after reading it she screamed for as long as she could. she was so angry, at this terrible girl! at her husband! at the world! at herself for thinking she could let him alone! so she plotted and she figured out the best way to get her revenge. 

so after the kiss, as it turns out Ned finally actually came to his senses and became a really good teacher. he actually found out things about plants and did a great job teaching the kids. his acapella club went to new highs and was easily going to destroy the competition. and he came to good terms with all of the potter kids. who were all great and over all nice people. now that is how it looked to Kara and Lena, Kara started to freak out about her letter and her and Lena talked about how to resolve the situation after their daily make out sessions. they sadly though could not figure out a good way around it. so they sent a new leter over her, explaining it was a joke. 

sadly for them though, the owl they picked was a nice young owl named tara. Who was just bought by some idiot first year. and as it turns out was actually an escape from azkaban who went to jail, after he decided it was a good idea to sell wizard drugs at hogwarts. so how did he do this, he became an owl and went over in the night, delivered the drugs and the kids payed him. he was caught on campus, with the drugs. and lucky enough for him, they weren't questioned that much. and no one found out about his power. so he stayed, there for a year, and then escaped as an owl went to an owl store was sold and then was going to fly away and live in some third world country. so when he got this letter it was finally his time to escape. but he decided he better at least give the person the letter first. so he flew over to antarctica, but on the way there, he was spotted by a poacher. and really wanted a stuffed owl so they stopped on the road and killed him. 

this will be finished next time


End file.
